» Mortality

~ by

Shouldn't I be afraid? Death is supposed to be horrifying, right? I guess I'd simply seen too much of it to feel bad about it -- desensitized.

I've risked death countless times. So many times, I felt I was going to die. But here, inside this doomed Republic Assault Ship, I just knew I was going to die.

We were under fire from a Droid Control Ship. The dead ship we were protecting wouldn't hold much longer. Reinforcments -- another Republic Assault Ship -- came not too long ago, and were returbing fire to the massive ship.

It was almost disturbing, my reaction towards death. I'd always imagined myself being absolutely terrified when faced with my mortality. But I wasn't afraid at all. It was a cold, surprisingly calm feeling to accept death. That doesn't mean I was just going to give up. Delta Squad didn't know the meaning of the words 'give up.'

I was proud of my squad. They were my men -- my brothers. I was born with them, I had killed with them, and I had faced death with them. Now I was going to die with them.

"Oh, you're going to pay for that, clanker!" hissed my blood-red painted sniper.

"Will that be cash or charge, Sev?" asked my demolitions expert.

Despite our utterly dire situation, I was somewhat proud of it. Here we were, the four men who personified the white-armored thorn in the Confederacy's side, stubbornly holding on to our ship. Defending this lone turret against an entire army of droids gave new meaning to 'last stand.'

"Fixer! Hurry it up, will you?"

"Two down, sir," my brother said, gloved hands dancing furiously upon one of the three terminals, "One to go."

"Roger that."

Their determination fueled my pride. But pride or no, we would die. Activating this turret would delay the inevitable for a fraction of a second. Talbot and his ship arrived too late to make a difference, but they too continued to fight. We had come so far. Only to fail.

Every clone knew that failure meant death, and vice versa. Death was almost welcome in my case. Just almost. A year of non-stop fighting since Geonosis. Since we were chilled down during any potential passive time, then thawed out when duty called, it all seemed like a long blur of killing. Those Kaminoans sure know what they're doing.

Click.

I just ran out of ammo for my Deece. Hm. Death sure knew how to make a point.

I scrutinized my battered weapon for a moment. So many lives fell before the barrel of this thing of morbid beauty. Now it was our turn to die.

"Sir, turret active!"


"Fierfek, we sure cut that one close, Boss," said one of my squadmates, "I honestly didn't think we were gonna make it. How 'bout you, sir?"

"Not a doubt in my mind."